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The Untold Chapter

Friendly reminder: Please read through Our Story before reading this untold chapter so you know what this post is all about. 

Dede, our demonic sunny doll that you are seeing right now was created in Melbourne, Australia around September 2017. It started with only the intention of making something that can remind my friend of our inside joke. During that time, Dede did not carry any intrinsic nor personal value so starting a brand out of it was the last thing I had in my mind.

So, how did it all begin?

The last quarter of 2017 was a rough period for me. I embarked on my first solo trip to South Korea as a getaway and escaped from all my problems, temporarily. When the trip ended, I had to face the reality - it was like falling from heaven to hell, not that I really know how that feels in a literal manner.

Being a logical and rational person, this made me feel hopeless and helpless. I thought I could keep things under my control but sadly, no. My life was a mess. To make things worse, my mind was in an even bigger mess. I wasn't in the right state of mind to handle all the lemons that life was throwing at me. I felt drained physically, mentally and emotionally. Insomnia, nightmares, feeling lonely yet wanting to be alone, crying in the shower, hating life...I was never this negative of a person ever. Thus, I beat myself up for having such feelings. Yet, the more I did that, the more overpowering those negative emotions became and I ended up being trapped in that evil cycle of my own thoughts. 

The wake up call for me was when a South Korean singer committed suicide at the young age of 27 in December. I have always loved his music and admired his personality. When his suicide letter was published, I found the content being shockingly relatable. It was also then when I realised how much a person's thoughts could get the best or the worst of him. Also that everyone is fighting an unspoken battle behind the smiles. 

From that day onwards, I was determined to solve my problems from its roots by not dwelling upon the circumstances in front of me. I worked on switching my thoughts, perception and surrender myself to faith. I told myself that things would eventually be alright. Sappy as it sounds, I have never been so right in life up till this day, hah! Throughout that journey of picking myself back up, I discovered more about myself and also realized some dreams of mine were left unattended for the longest time ever. I wanted to find something that I could sink myself into without giving a care in the world which gives me nothing but happiness. 

One day when I was drinking coffee in my room, I stared at that half hanging post-it note on the white wall and it hit me - to spread some positive vibes through my brainchild. I figured that if I could be faithful in this journey that we called life again, then anyone out there could do it too. Most importantly, I want those who are struggling to know that they are not alone in this battle. And something quirky and annoyingly cute, which dare I claim, might be handy as a good companion ;) 

Fast forward half a year later from my darkest days, I am genuinely happy. I am working on sharing Dede and more positivity through Duo Emblem while I fumble and learn (while also having fun, of course) being an aspired entrepreneur. I still have my problems and frustrations but I am able to switch to the right mindset much faster than previously. I think I could handle more lemons now because if I could get that supply, I shall be making a lemonade stand in fulfilling my childhood dream and also sell some lemon sorbet and lemon cupcakes by the side. 

I know how it feels like to be trapped in one of those days/weeks/months when you are feeling such excruciating pain which does not seem to be justifiable at all because everything is happening within you and only to you. We live in this world where too many things are going on in one minute. People judge too quickly and take too little time to truly care and understand. When you are in that situation, life crawls too slowly and every passing minute feels like a deathrow let alone attempting to see a light of hope at the end of this tunnel. Being all melodramatic, I used to tell myself that Shakespeare was right about life "creep[ing] in this petty pace from day to day".  However, in my own words, let me tell you that the keyword here is "passing". 

Keep the faith and keep smiling no matter how hard it is as the darkness will end at the break of dawn before you know it. Cliche but true! Hit the restart button whenever you need it but do not quit on life. Breathe and remember that life is a flow - it is never done, so you can never get it wrong! Dede and I will be with you, so you are never alone. Now, let's get that Michael Jackson song playing shall we? 

With love,  

Personal Blog: www.fionism.com
Instagram: @f4fion